For The Love of Comics

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Mike Haynes’ reposting of his Spider-man toy comics reminded me of some stuff I’d seen on JayPinkerton.com. Basically, he took old Spider-man comics from the newspapers and wrote new dialogue.

Here are some of my favorites (warning - strong and suggestive language):

Technorati Tags: Spider-Man, Mysterio, Comics, Mike Haynes, Jay Pinkerton, Mary Jane, J Jonah Jameson

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Absolutely brilliant.

Technorati Tags: Macy’s, Thanksgiving, Parade, Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends, Rick Roll

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First of all, I should warn you that this post contains some spoilers of Batman 681 and the Batman RIP storyline if you’ve yet to read these issues and/or you hate having anything spoiled, you should probably stop reading now and come back when you have everything read.

As for the rest of you, I just finished reading the final issue of Batman RIP and… I really don’t know how I feel about it. If this hadn’t been hyped up with Morrison’s statements about “the ultimate betrayal” and “a fate worse than death”, I think I would be satisfied and maybe even feel like this was a pretty damn good story, but promises were made and those promises were not kept and for that… I feel more than a little betrayed and ripped off.

There was no betrayal that I could see, unless he was talking about Dr. Hurt’s claims that he was Thomas Wayne and Alfred may have been Bruce’s real father, but did anyone ever really believe that they were true? There was no “fate worse than death” for Bruce, either, as far as I could tell. In fact, there’s an insinuation that Bruce’s fate at the end of this issue may have actually been death, though I doubt anyone thinks that we’ve seen the last of Bruce Wayne.

In fact, there are no real answers here, which makes it hard for me to really consider RIP “over”. Some things are resolved - Bruce apparently knew that an attack was coming all along, though he wasn’t sure exactly where it would come from until it was almost too late. Nonetheless, he did make some preparations and claimed to have seen through Jezebel Jet almost as soon as he fell in love with her. Ultimately, those preparations were enough to give him the edge needed to take down The Black Glove, which was never a person, but rather a group of persons, and their leader Dr. Hurt, who may have been Thomas Wayne (Bruce denies this claim), Mangrove Pierce (Bruce’s theory), the Devil wearing the “skin” of these other men (Hurt’s final claim). The Devil is strongly hinted throughout the book, but this seems a bit too over-the-top, even for Morrison. Honestly, my money’s on an insane Mangrove Pierce who believed he was the other two, but any of these answers is ultimately unsatisfying and we never really get a firm answer on what the truth really is.

In the end, Morrison’s claims that this would be the “end of Batman”, along with his other grandiose statements, turned what could have been a very good cliffhanger leading into a hiatus for Bruce Wayne (while he went away to figure out who he really was and what his mission really is) into a disappointing story that fell short of its promises.

…or maybe I’m griping too much. This actually was a very good story, and even an acceptable end, just not what we were promised.

Technorati Tags: Batman, Batman RIP, The Black Glove, Dr. Hurt, The Devil, Thomas Wayne, Grant Morrison

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Image by h.koppdelaney via Flickr

My grandfather died a couple months ago, as of this writing. He died a slow and painful death, and that’s a bummer. Sure, you could argue that there isn’t any good way too go, but the point is that the way he went was in most ways the opposite of good. Instead of just giving up and sticking a gun in his mouth, as some weaker (or, if you’re so inclined, stronger) people might’ve done, my grandfather clung to life as if life owed him a lot of money. I admire that.

Every now and then, people ask me if I could chose, how I would like to die. I always end up answering that I wouldn’t. This always gets a laugh, though whether it is a friendly laugh of agreement, and derisive snort at my implied naivety, or anywhere in the between tends to vary from person to person. “Everybody dies” is the nugget of wisdom they always retort with. Well…no shit.

Let me veer of course from my chosen topic for a moment here (and when I say let me, you really have no say in the matter. I’m the writer, I can do whatever the fuck I want) and just point out how much obvious blanket statements like this annoy me. It’s like saying “Life is hard,”. No it isn’t, life is easy. Life is often hard because people are so convinced that it has to be hard, they just make everything more difficult for themselves. And look, I know that I’m a spoiled white kid from New Jersey, of course life is easier for me than a starving kid in Africa, or a starving kid who lives two blocks away from me. I’m just pointing out that saying “Life is hard” or “Life is easy” are obvious terms that don’t apply to everybody, and if you’re also a well off person, you should stop being a self-indulgent pussy and just choose the latter option. To be honest, this all sounded better in my head. I’m just going to repeat the sentiment that I need a tape recorder I can blather in to before I go to sleep, and then move on.

So yeah, everybody dies. That’s a fact. Fortunately, it is a fact I really don’t have to accept until the moment before my life on this Earth ends. Until that moment, I’m going to labor under the delusion that somehow I’m going to cheat death forever. If there is an afterlife, fine, I’m okay with dying then. But I have no confirmation of life after death, and probably won’t until I die (unless of course there is nothing after death and I cease to exist, which is such an incomprehensible and terrifying thought; it is one of the only things that can keep me awake at night, in fear). In the mean time, I’m going to do my damnedest to find a way to stay forever young, or transfer my mind in to clones and robots. Anything to cheat the grave. In most classic and modern literature the hero is willing to nobly sacrifice his life, while the villain selfishly clings to his mortal life by all means necessary. While that may paint me as a villain in this instance, let me point out that almost all of those stories involve some kind of afterlife or cosmic reward for the martyred hero. Since once again I have no guarantee of this, and I’m not a fictional character (I mean, I suppose I could be, but I don’t want to get all meta-fictional right now. It’s late, and I have to be up early) I’ll stick to my morally ambiguous quest for eternal life.

I’m going to go to bed now, and if I’m not too lazy tomorrow, I’ll continue this by rambling about how I’m perfectly fine with watching all my friends and loved ones grow old, wither, and die while I remain youthful and adventurous.

Does that make me a bad person?

Technorati Tags: New Jersey, Death, Afterlife

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Since Marvel released a teaser image of the Dark Avengers (nice throwback to the cover of New Avengers #1, by the way), speculation has been rampant over the identities of these team members. I honestly hadn’t been paying much attention until Mike Hayne’s speculation post last week on Panels of Awesome, when it became very clear to me.

I’ll get into my ideas after I show you that teaser image I mentioned, along with the “clues” that Marvel released with the image.

“What he does isn’t very nice.”
“Back in black.”
“Not such a straight arrow.”
“Men fear a powerful woman.”
“The greatest hero in the Marvel Universe.”

Now the obvious guesses here are Wolverine, Spider-man, Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel, and Iron Man, but that seems a bit too obvious to me and the retro/alternative takes on their costumes gives me other ideas, along with some recent history.

First, the current “Captain Marvel” is actually a Skrull who took to his programming so well that he actually believed he was Captain Marvel and, even when he discovered that he was a Skrull, chose to defend his adopted home planet against the Skrulls.

Second, the impostor heroes that came from the crashed ship in the Savage Land all wore old versions of the heroes’ costumes.

Third, it has been said repeatedly that Dark Avengers will spin out from the events of Secret Invasion
I think you know where I’m going with this by now. I think the Dark Avengers are all Skrulls that have taken to their programming so well that they’ve decided to stay on Earth and become heroes. The retro costumes and younger appearances (especially on “Wolverine”) seem to support this.

The one flaw in my theory seems to be the Iron Patriot, since that isn’t really a retro costume. I have an idea for this, too. I’ve lost count of how many times Vision has been taken out and redesigned. Perhaps, during the corruption of all StarkTech, Vision was also corrupted and could no longer inhabit the armor that Iron Lad left behind. Elijah Bradley could then don that armor and become… Iron Patriot, assigned to lead the Dark Avengers and keep an eye on the Skrull members of the team.

Of course, “Spider-man” could be Venom, since he looks a bit bulky, and “Wolverine” could be Daken, which would explain the younger face. That doesn’t explain Hawkeye or Ms Marvel, though, so I’m sticking with my Skrull idea.

Technorati Tags: Marvel, Dark Avengers, Wolverine, Hawkeye, Ms Marvel, Spider-man, Iron Man, Iron Patriot, Patriot, Skrulls, Venom, Daken

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Continuing their Dark Knight Oscar push, Warner Brothers has begun circulating “For Your Consideration” ads for Heath Ledger’s performance as The Joker.

I’m telling you, we old-school geeks are going to be known as visionary trend-setters!

Technorati Tags: Warner Brothers, The Dark Knight, Oscar, Heath Ledger, Joker, Best Supporting Actor

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So I found myself scrolling through geek news the other night on Fark.com and came across this little tidbit: Den of the Geek . This page has a pretty full list of comic books being turned into movies. I won’t give a full list here but here are a few of the ones that stand out the most:

Doctor Strange (2012)
Already the subject of two low-budget adaptations (in 1978 and 2007), there have been many contenders to helm and star in the tale of the New York superhero/mystic; Christian Bale - perhaps unimaginatively - is the latest to be offered the cape, while Guillermo del Toro has flirted endlessly with the project, which remains without a confirmed director.

Wonder Woman (2011)
Possibly the most controversial piece of casting of the decade, there are a million forums alive with speculation as to who will play DC comics’ Amazonian warrior, though Jessica Biel is looking hot right now. Errr. Anyway Joss Whedon’s wasted two years on the project are further indication that no-one really knows what to do with such a cheerful character post-Dark Knight.

Namor: The Submariner (aka Submariner) (2010)
Originally with Chris Columbus, this Marvel Studios tale of the Atlantean wing-heeled hero has had Angel’s David Boreanaz attached for some time. Central character Prince Namor will be caught up in an ecological war between the land-dwellers and the sea-denizens whose habitat they have polluted. Jonathan Mostow is still said to be attached to the project.

The Avengers (2011)
Slated for a prime summer slot on July 15th 2011, this is set to be one of the most highly-anticipated movies of the next few years, directed by Jon Favreau with Robert Downey Jr. firmly signed to it as Tony Stark/Iron Man and new ‘Rhodey’ Don Cheadle attached too. Marvel Studios are financing and Paramount distrubuting, as usual. Rumours are obviously rife regarding casting.

Iron Man 2 (2010)
7th May 2010 and the wait will be over for Downey Jr. to rocket upwards for a sequel to the smash hit 2008 Marvel Studios’ debut. Terence Howard’s replacement by Don Cheadle (see The Avengers above) has caused a stir, but we’re all pleased that Downey Jr. has signed on the dotted line up to Iron Man 3.

Nick Fury (2010)
Jack Kirby’s streetwise S.H.I.E.L.D supremo was a huge hit in a guest spot with Samuel L. Jackson at the end of the credits for Iron Man, and many are hoping that Jackson will return and make the film that Shaft should have been.

Red Sonja (2009)
The Robert Rodriguez-produced adaptation of the adventures of the Marvel comics heroine (a Conan spin-off derived very loosely from a Robert E. Howard short story) generated much interest at Comicon when Rodriguez and Sonja star Rose McGowan showed off some sexy new posters, but there’s some speculation the film may go straight to disc.

Thor (2010)
Kenneth Branagh was entranced by the classical tale of Marvel comics’ Norse god with a big hammer, which remains without a leading man (Daniel Craig turned it down). The film is slated for release 16th July 2010.

The First Avenger: Captain America (2011)
Jurassic Park III director and effects guru Joe Johnston is slated to direct the tale of the New York fine arts student who takes a super-serum that soups him up for action against the Nazis in WWII America. Narnia writers Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely have been put on scripting duty.

Silver Surfer (2009)
2009 is looking a bit unlikely for the (rumoured) return of Doug Jones as the shiny semi-hero of Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer. J. Michael Straczynski revealed that the character’s association with the unappreciated FF2 doesn’t help. Galactus is rumoured to return, hopefully not just as a VGER-type cloud. Dark City’s Alex Proyas refused the helm, and Fox is rumoured to be awaiting the reception of the Wolverine movie before committing.

Sin City 2 (2010)
Frank Miller returns to helm the sequel to the stylistic 2005 hit. Based on the GN story “A Dame to Kill For”, Clive Owen reprises his role as Dwight McCarthy to take revenge on (a rumoured) Rose McGowan, an ex-lover who makes an unwelcome return to his life.

Sin City 3 (2010)
Miller is slating the second Sin City sequel to cover the ‘Hell and Back’ story featuring ex-navy SEAL Wallace, a vigilante character that Miller says was based on Johnny Depp, though the actor is not officially attached to the role.

Superman: Man of Steel (2011)
Despite profitability, Bryan Singer’s 2006 Donner-loving reboot/sequel Superman Returns inspired little studio confidence for a franchise run, and many - including Mark Millar - have been seeking to completely reboot the franchise. Brandon Routh is not as out of the picture as many think, it seems, and neither is Bryan Singer. But how far will they have to reboot the franchise to get Superman off the ground again?

The Witchblade (2009)
Battlestar Galactica’s Michael Rymer is set to helm the movie adaptation of the Top Cow productions GN, in the wake of the TV version. The eponymous weapon is (of course) supernatural, a ‘one-ring’-style sentient artifact that has afforded great powers to women such as Cleopatra and Joan Of Arc and now falls into the hands of NYPD detective Sara Pezzini. She doesn’t look like any cop I’ve ever seen.

Billy Batson and the Legend of Shazam (aka Captain Marvel, 2010)
The Captain Marvel character is awfully close to Superman in capabilities, and the scrambling for ‘dark’ properties for superhero movies could have moved this project even further down the roster. Get Smart director Peter Segal is attached, and in his defence was talking about a ‘darker’ character well before The Dark Knight’s release and box-office supremacy.

Iron Fist (2012)
Popularly thought to only have a chance if Luke Cage does well (the character developed out of that series), Iron Fist is resting in development hell with Ray Park thought to have left behind his association with the role.

Green Lantern (2010)
Ryan Gosling has been hotly tipped to wear the green ring of power in the movie of the DC comics verdant hero. The script is said to be good at the moment, and producer Donald De Line confirmed his enthusiasm for it. The fact that Green Lantern is more a suit than a person (worn by a series of fictional characters) takes the pressure out of casting a franchise in a Doctor Who/James Bond -style.

The Flash (2010)
The film of DC’s lightning-fast sprinter seems to be tying its shoelaces at the moment. Likelihood seems to be that the JLA movie is confusing the issue in a way Batman never needs to worry about, so it could be quite a wait for Wally West to get moving. Dark Knight producer Charles Roven concedes that there has been no progress on the project.

Deadpool (2010)
Contrary to earlier reports, Variety says that the hyper-acid mercenary played by Ryan Reynolds in X-Men Origins: Wolverine will have to await that film’s box-office fate to know his own. Deadpool is about as post-modern and ironic a superhero as Marvel has to offer, arguably their most Tarantino-resque hero, but he’s a strong flavour that might not attract the requisite investment for a full-budget superhero flick.

Okay, so that was considerably more then a few but trust me there’s a lot more. I’m not sure how legit these postings are but I have my hopes up. Head on over to Den of the Geek for a full list!

Technorati Tags: Movies, Marvel, DC, Dark Horse, Deadpool, Green Lantern, Sin City, Iron Fist, Superman, Iron Man, Avengers, Captain America, Shazam, Captain Marvel, Namor, Submariner, Wolverine, Luke Cage, Flash, Witchblade, Bryan Singer, Brandon Routh, Ryan Reynolds, Silver Surfer, Thor, Red Sonja, Nick Fury, Wonder Woman, Doctor Strange

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It’s a big day for Marvel comic movie adaptations and writers!

While I was on hiatus, Joe Johnston was announced as the director of First Avenger: Captain America. Johnson directed another WWII-era superhero movie, The Rocketeer, and worked on art direction and character design on the Star Wars movies, so I’m optimimistic that he’ll be able to bring a little something extra to Cap.

Things are moving forward at a swift pace now - Variety reported last night that Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, the writing team for Chronicles of Narnia, will be writing the script for First Avenger.

Now I’ve never seen Chronicles, so I’m counting on you to tell me what you think - was Chronicles of Narnia any good? Do you think these guys can handle Cap?

Sound off, people!

Technorati Tags: Captain America, Marvel, Joe Johnston, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, Chronicles of Narnia

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Yesterday, I posted about a rumor that Superman writer James Robinson quit over a heated argument with Dan Didio.

According to Superman Homepage, Superman editor Matt Idelson has said that this is not true - James Robinson will still be writing Superman.

So now you know. And you know what they say about knowing…

Technorati Tags: Superman, DC, Dan Didio, James Robinson, Matt Idelson, Lying In The Gutters

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Some of you may remember that Josh Schwartz, creator of Gossip Girl, O.C., and Chuck, let it slip a few months ago that he was working on an X-Men movie script, followed by complete radio silence.

Last night, Variety confirmed Schwartz’s slip by reporting that Fox and Marvel will be rebooting the X-Men franchise that Brett Ratner ruined with X-Men First Class, produced by Lauren Schooner Donner and written by Josh Schwartz.

There are virtually no details on the plot, though Variety’s article mentions a similar theme to the X-Men First Class comic (Young students at the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning), but following characters like Colossus, Rogue, Gambit, Iceman, Angel, Shadowcat, and Jubilee, all of whom are the younger students in the previous three movies, rather than the original X-Men team in the comics. It is likely, though, that the main characters in the previous movies will at least make cameos.

This could be interesting, although I’ll miss some of the main cast from the previous films. I really don’t see any other way they could continue the franchise after that trainwreck that Ratner made, though.

Technorati Tags: X-Men, First Class, Colossus, Rogue, Gambit, Iceman, Angel, Shadowcat, Jubilee, Fox, Marvel, Josh Schwartz, movies

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